If you're trying anything for the first time, however simple you assume it is, the chances are you are going to struggle to become adept at it initially. This is a lesson you can learn the hard way or accept now.

Imposter syndrome is the sad habit of under-evaluating your skills, talents, and innate abilities even in the face of opposite realities.

I decided to learn programming sometime in 2021, I found coding interesting and less technical than I assumed it would be, so I thought I would bada-bing bada-boom my way through becoming an expert and snag a high-level gig in three months. I had no background in STEM or even understood the scope of programming and choosing a language to major in.

My expectations were so unrealistic and set so ridiculously high that I psyched myself into thinking there was no point in even trying when I was met with the least resistance. Challenges as small as slow Wi-Fi to mastering algorithmic thinking threw me into bouts of anxiety and self-doubt.

It's the third month of 2022, and I'm just now beginning to realistically undertake the learning process.

I am unlearning the craving for perfectionism that cripples me when all my ducks don't toe a row seamlessly. I am learning that just like cake, all good things need time, and heat(hard work, discipline, consistency) to come together.

I'm blogging about it because I need to document this. Likewise, I need to know I'm not alone in my challenges or fears. And most importantly, I require external validation.

In one month I hope my tune is a less dank one because being able to admit that I'm not at all perfect and I don't have my journey figured out makes me hopeful that I can intentionally, consciously do something about it.